mobility scooter

Quite possibly one of the worst inventions of the 20th century. Originally used by lovely old people to drive down to the shops or to bingo. Now increasingly being overrun by stupid idiots and people who cannot see two feet beyond their meter thick glasses. The average top speed of these death traps has gone from a pleasant 10km/h to a painful 100km/h, which is inviting to those with a need for speed, GTA enthusiasts and retired race car drivers. These horrendously fast yet silent vehicles are perfect for running down innocent pedestrians and causing havoc at four way intersections and down the middle of Main Street.